I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
