i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
