I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
