Umm I'm too high to move.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
this is an emotional support booty call
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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