apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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