piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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