my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
