one two three fourrrrnication!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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