I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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