The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
