you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
