a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
