why didn't you poke me back
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
