i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
