Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Barsexuality is the new black.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize