What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
