he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
