We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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