she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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