a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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