i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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