I cockslap morals
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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