if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
