she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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