I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
