ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
