So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think your dad took our porno
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
