the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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