So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
