If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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