its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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