I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
