just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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