Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
