Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
