We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize