Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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