I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Randomize
