This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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