I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's shark week go big or go home
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
