We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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