We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Terrible idea I love it
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
