Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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