Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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