That's when you crack a 10am beer
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
In America we eat man semen.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
