It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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