ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
