He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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