if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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