So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
