i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
