Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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