well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
