So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
