Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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