I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
