So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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