I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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