Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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