genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
