you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
