I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
