I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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