Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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