Define "chronic" masturbator.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
