I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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