I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
no, he came in my armpit
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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