I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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